A World War Two veteran who believes passionately that Britain should remain in the European Union has today learned that he is in a fact a remoaning, bleeding heart member of the metropolitan elite.
98-year-old Simon Williams, who in the 1940s battled the sort of far-right nationalistic ideology currently espoused by Nigel Farage and Donald Trump, was surprised that by simply wanting lasting peace in Europe he could easily be labelled a remoaner who is hell-bent on subverting the democratic will of the people.
“I think my mistake was to venture onto Twitter to try and engage in reasoned debate about why we should stay in the EU,” he told us.
“After all, people like me fought and defeated the Nazis to bring peace to Europe, and the formation of the European Union was one of the great things to come from the horrors of World War Two, so I think it is quite a good idea to stay in it, and not leave based on a cheated referendum.”
He explained, “I tried to enter a discussion with someone who had a union jack as their profile picture over the dangers of allowing far-right rhetoric enter the public discussion over Brexit, but was promptly told that I’d lost, he’d won, and to get over it.
“Which is odd, as from memory it was Hitler and the Nazis who lost. The poor chap was probably just a bit confused, bless him.”
Mr Williams then logged off Twitter, adding, “I just hope that the Remembrance Services held across the country on Sunday will help people remember that we fought for peace and to bring Europe together.
“I’m sure no-one would try to hijack the poppy as some sort of pseudo-nationalistic symbol of our independence as a nation, would they?”