Baldrick named Minister for Cunning Plans

1 week ago
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Boris announces Baldrick as addition to the cabinet

Boris Johnson has made a new addition to his cabinet as part of today’s reshuffle.

Baldrick has been named the new Minister for Plans, having displayed exceptional ability in the field of cunning between the 15th and 20th centuries.

“This is definitely one of the Prime Minster’s better choices of late,” agreed political pundit, Simon Williams.

“Government insiders are already claiming that Baldrick’s cunning mind will prove to be invaluable when it comes to navigating post-Brexit trade deals, managing the economy and finding out exactly what the hell to do about everyone’s bins.

“When your team is led by Boris Johnson, adding Baldrick to the cabinet looks positively credible – I’m sure the EU is keeping an eye on the developments.

“The appointment may seem bizarre to outsiders, but don’t forget it’s come from the mind of the man who suggested we could feasibly build a bridge between England and Northern Ireland- which is certainly a ‘plan’, if not a cunning one.”

Not everyone was in agreement about the positive aspects of the appointment of the new minister for plans.

Business leader, Edmund Blackadder, said, “I don’t want to be unkind to Baldrick, but he makes it so terribly difficult to praise him.

“With that in mind, I have to say this is the worst appointment since my great-grandfather booked in for a short back and sides at Sweeney Todd’s Barber Shop.”

Baldrick said, “Thank you, Mr B, for those kind words.

“Anyway, I look forward to being the Minister in charge for Pans. I’ve got a lovely wok that we can start with.

“We’re not doing that bridge between England and Northern Ireland though. That’s bloody stupid.”

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