Chris Grayling to conclude ‘Clap for Captain Sir Tom’ by high-fiving all of his elderly neighbours

4 weeks ago
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Grayling Sir Captain Tom

A small area of Islington will see a surge in Coronavirus cases this evening after Chris Grayling takes part in Clap for the Captain Sir Tom.

The former Transport Secretary will join neighbours along his pleasant Georgian terrace in hearty applause for the heroic fundraiser and other care workers across the country, despite suffering from a fever and persistent dry cough.

Grayling will take appropriate steps to distance himself from those nearby throughout the clapping, frequently sneezing into his elbow and keeping two metres away from passers-by.

However, as the emotion of the occasion takes hold, the Intelligence and Security chief will momentarily forget himself and ask elderly Mrs Bradshaw at Number 48, a woman with a plethora of underlying health conditions, if he could “have some skin”.

Mrs Bradshaw will tell us later, “He’s normally quite reserved so when he asked me to put some skin on it, I could only oblige.

“We did the high-five, the fist bump, but not before he’d invited the Singh family over for a group hug.”

Meanwhile, experts will be quick to note that Mr Grayling’s street will show up as a giant red dot on the Covid 19 Tracker app.

Grayling will late tell reporters, “I was sure it was hay fever.”

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