Concern is growing for His Royal Highness Prince Philip after he failed to be a bit racist yesterday.
Prince Philip, 271, received the vaccine for COVID-19 yesterday along with Her Majesty the Queen, who got hers in order to ensure that Charles keeps his grubby little hands off the throne for a bit longer.
“Oh damn, blast and bugger it senseless,” one royal butler heard him exclaim this morning.
“I’m such a silly chump – I completely forget to say something about how the virus had come over from China with a side of prawn crackers, or how the jab would mean I could eat dogs and bats without a care in the world.
“Damn it all! And then there’s this new bloody South African strain doing the rounds, I could have made a dubious remark about their rugby team spreading it in the showers or something.”
He was then heard to say, “Oh, and that nurse who gave me the vaccine wasn’t quite English either.
“I could have lifted her spirits by making a deeply personal remark on her appearance or guessed ethnic background.
“What a waste of a day.”
According to the butler, His Royal Highness then said, “Well I’m immune, and that’s the main thing. Last one to the banquet hall is a sissy!” before necking a whole glass of whisky and picking up his car keys.
One doctor told us, “This is very worrying. He’s clearly not his usual self, and we fear that with this degree of decline, he might pass away within the next fifty to sixty years, sadly.”