The Government has announced that a new exploratory working group will be set up to make everything even worse.
The working group will comprise of Chris Grayling, Satan, and the bad guy from Road House, and it will be publicly funded to a thoroughly eye-watering degree.
“After ten years of Tory government, everything is completely dreadful, as you’d expect,” explained Boris Johnson, Prime Minister and twat.
“However, we can’t allow ourselves to become complacent. When people vote Tory, they expect a wide variety of innovative and surprising ways to make everything worse and that is what this group will provide.”
Chris Grayling, wearing his shoes on the wrong feet, detailed some initial ideas that the group was looking into.
He went on, “Oh yes, we’ve already come up with some tremendous ideas to explore – a legal requirement for a wasp nest in every house, banning all ice-cream flavours except gravy, putting me in charge of something, replacing all public benches with spikes, charging people a fee to be Welsh, replacing superhero movies with movies about old men talking about their ailments, lots of new weird birds and switching off all sewage management measures.
“I think that I can safely say, with this group, the Tories will be able to continue making everything even worse for many years to come.”
It is expected that the announcement of the new group and confirmation that everything will continue to get worse will give the Tories an even bigger poll increase that the last time they made everything worse, because the country is currently utterly, utterly mental.