It’s nearly Christmas, which means that it’s time to hand out gifts to professional golfers who can afford anything but might not know what they actually want (or need). That’s the point of the exercise, though, to point out what players are in need of this holiday season and to gift them with something beneficial and useful for the future.
Obviously many (maybe all) of these are tongue in cheek, but we thought it would be fun to roll through some of the biggest stars in the game and get them some hypothetical gifts to put under the tree on Dec. 25. It’s something we do every year and a fun little snapshot at where certain players are at in their careers.
Let’s start with the man who can afford to buy everyone else on this list anything they could want many times over.
I’ll be honest, the only thing I could think of here was one of those fold-out seats that doubles as a walking stick that you see coaches and older gentlemen toting around golf tournaments. He’s going to want a comfortable seat from which to watch his son compete for the next several years. Also a putting aid. Any of them, doesn’t matter.
NetJets hours. There are some incredibly unsubstantiated rumors flying around both Twitter and on various podcasts that Spieth either has already been to see or is considering going to see famed instructor Butch Harmon. I will personally pay for him to go see an impersonator named Hutch Barmon if it improves his tee-to-green numbers in 2021.
I am unable to purchase this, but if I could, I would get him a win in January in the Middle East as he embarks on his European Tour season. McIlroy is a great frontrunner, and it always feels like he’s pointed straight downhill whenever he wins early in a season. In four different years, he’s won a tournament in January, February or March, and in two of those he went on to win four times on the year.
PGA Tour 2K21, the video game. Finau needs to get a controller in his hands and beat up on some of his kids (or anyone’s kids) just to remember what it feels like to win a golf tournament.
A general contractor to remodel his trophy room and potentially his closet. We might have a floodgates situation on our hands in this post-Masters victory world D.J. is now living in.
Diapers. Rahm and his wife are expecting their first child in 2021, and one of the best to ever do it through his first 100 events is about to have to figure out how to balance more parts of his life than he ever has before.
A candle and some indoor plants because Sungjae is finally buying a house! He’s been nomadic to this point, living out of hotels and seemingly playing every tournament he’s qualified for, but it sounds like he’s going settle in Atlanta and will need some housewarming gifts to fill out the new digs.
Some seedlings to plant trees because, as we all know, all the best courses in the world are lined with trees. Could also use some leftover NetJets hours on the man who has flown more than any other human in history.
A new Lexus (potentially with one of those big bows). Hovland crisscrossed the United States this year in his Lexus, driving from PGA Tour event to PGA Tour event. Surely he needs some new wheels going into a 2021 where he’ll be ranked one of the top 20 players in the world.
An abacus. So he can count up all those scores … as well as all those sponsors.