Eighties icon and horrible old racist Morrissey has announced a new album entitled ‘Coming over here, stealing our jobs, they should go back to where they came from.’
The album will a collection of musings about how white people are best and how curry, reggae and Black Panther are rubbish set to some boring Dad-indie with occasional string flourishes.
Opening with the strident ‘It’s not like it used to be round here’ – Morrissey laments the how multiculturalism has changed the nature of a working-class Northern town that he couldn’t even find on a map.
The album closes with the epic ‘Disco, rap and soul music are all awful’ in which Morrissey sets out his argument that the only ‘proper’ music is music played by white men with guitars.
The rest of the album is made up of songs with titles like ‘You can’t say anything these days,’ ‘Political correctness gone mad,’ and the mournful ‘We’re just saying what everyone’s thinking’.
It is expected that the album will appeal to the three or four middle-aged men who are still desperately holding out hope that the whole Morrisey-as-racist-uncle thing is some sort of subtle and ironic commentary on modern life and Tommy Robinson supporters.
There was widespread relief that the album announcement was not accompanied by tour plans.