Professional moron-agitator and President of the United States Donald Trump has been forced to go door-to-door telling everyone the election was stolen from him after having the majority of his social media accounts deleted.
Social network sites including Twitter and Facebook have permanently suspended his accounts, leaving Trump with no choice but to go door-to-door in his one-man mission to let everyone know how the election was fraudulent.
Twitter’s stance has been described by non-morons as “a perfectly sensible move in an attempt to remove harmful misinformation and other conspiracy nonsense that has already cost at least five people, including one police officer, their lives.”
However, many angry morons have been left bereft that their primary source of persuasive nonsense has been removed from their social media feeds.
Trump devotee Chad Williams told us, “I have all this pent-up anger, and without Donald telling me where to point it I don’t know what to do? Who should I be angry about today? Who should I be blaming for the dismal state of my own existence? I need to know! HELP ME!”
Meanwhile, Florida resident Barbara Matthews told us, “The President knocked on my door about an hour ago and asked if I knew that the do-nothing Democrats had stolen the election by getting millions of dead people to vote for Joe Biden. Then he insisted that the elites were conspiring with the immigrants to stop America being great again.
“There was something about a Kraken, and judges – who apparently love Trump, according to Trump – not doing what he wanted? I’m not sure, it was all a bit rambling by the end.”
Trump himself said, “My social media presence might have reached tens of million people, but there is no way for the liberal establishment elite and the do-nothing Democrats to stop me screaming my important messages through the doors of literally dozens of Americans homes every single day.
“I’ve already converted ten million Americans to my way of thinking this morning alone. Yes I have, shut up!”