The squeegee residing in a Basingstoke man’s bathroom is entirely ornamental, according to the state of the shower cubicle this afternoon.
Simon Williams, 35, has owned the pristine shower squeegee for nearly three years now, but insists that it isn’t needed ‘because it’s only water’.
He went on, “I understand why some people use them, but for me, I look at the water on the inside of the shower cubicle the same way I look at the rain on my windows – it’ll be gone in a couple of hours anyway.
“I mean, yes, I did buy a squeegee for the shower cubicle, but that was really only because my then-girlfriend insisted my bathroom was – and I quote – ‘disgusting’.
“I’m not sure how squeegeeing the water from a shower cubicle makes something less disgusting, but that’s just one of the many reasons we’re not together.
“I suppose I kept the squeegee because it looks nice, and gives the place a nice ‘lived in’ feel.
“Plus, if the world ever returns to normal, and I ever manage to get another woman to come back here, I don’t want her to think I live like a savage. I’m not an idiot.”