Thanos is a good guy because he has said sorry, according to the tabloids this morning.
Following Boris Johnson’s apology for a series of shit decisions which contributed to the deaths of over 100,000 people, Thanos has also jumped on the forgiveness train and apologised for snapping half of mankind out of existence.
“I am so very sorry,” said Thanos.
“I couldn’t possibly have foreseen the hurt and devastation that could have come from wiping out half of the lifeforms in the entire universe.
“But yeah, sorry.”
Hayley Rice, a journalist at The Sun, paused her Wednesday ritual of nailing a kitten to her desk to say, “Thanos is very brave to say sorry like that.
“He really didn’t have to apologise, but he did, and for that, he deserves credit which you lefty types will never, ever give him. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
“Next you’ll be saying that Boris isn’t a Churchillian hero just because we ran a photo of him looking sad with the word ‘lest’ under it.”